Film after film, book after book, song after song. The inspiration for many a cultural masterpiece has been love. Or the lack of it, often. Growing up, we are influenced by the idea that the first great thing in life that we have to pursue, is love. I, myself, as well.
My dad died before I started middle school and since then, I have seen my mother struggle with finding a man to share her life with. I've never held any grudge towards her for this, I understood. No matter how young I was, I had already learned from society, that no one can function properly without the right amount of love. Untill this day, she hasn't been able to truly find it, and the odds for we weren't set very high. Without having the right love-example, I couldn't have known what to strive for. Changes were that I would end up with the wrong guys, form daddy issues.
The opposite was the case. I proved to be excellent at finding the right guys. Contrary to my mom, I had a talent in finding the absolute right guys for me, in the right times of my life. No heartache, no difficulties from their part. They fell head over heals for me, and I for them. I had a couple of nice friends with benefits and two relationships. The past three years, I have been in those two, one still standing. The first one was great, perfect for me at that time of my life, but I out-grew him. I lost interest and wanted more, I wanted adventure, excitement, dreams. Ingredients for a disastrous relationship, where I would probably end up in the wrong hands.
But no, not at all. He was great, he still is. Misunderstood by many, understood by me. And not in the way of, oh she's so in love, she can't see how he really is. The people that know him, like him, including my brother. He's more honest, and more realistic than anyone I've ever met before, and a friend for life. He's the only one that, when I come with another of my ridiculous plans, doesn't pin me down with negative thoughts. He encourages me, comes with motivating speeches and slogans. His realistic view of life is so intense, that he knows as much as I do that life isn't one of boundaries, it's one of opportunities.
This story of my life has made me realize that I have no idea how it is. I can't relate to the songs of breaking hearts, of never realized loves, of not being able to find the right guy. Man after man has presented himself to me, I've never had to look for, to be on my own completely. And believe me, I'm a picky girl. Since I met my boyfriend over 1,5 year ago, I haven't met any guy that I could possibly even kiss. Seriously... Anyways, it scares me. The thought of being alone. I can't do it. I'm for sure. I don't think there is any fun in going out and having one night stands with the one meaningless pretty man after the other. No thank you.
The moral of this story is that I have one thing to be absolutely grateful for, I couldn't wish for anything better. It is something that a lot of women look for all their lives. Hallelujah.
Love,
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